Article
By: White House Press Secretary --
Shylock
Official Soundtrack: New National Anthem -- ordered by our Supreme Leader!
Unofficial Soundtrack:"A Victory of Love" -- Alphaville
Howdy!
Did you know that roaches will rule the world if MAD were fulfilled? Pretty neat guy. But this blurb is totally unrelated to the article -- simply to throw you off. I mean, you expect some sort of "high-style" writer. That sh*t is stupid. This is a national paper and it's meant to be fun. Government doesn't have to be boring. In fact, it's better if it's not!
(Note from former Secretary of Media
Mark Michaelson : HE'S RUINING MY BEAUTIFUL WHPR ;_; I do not approve of this bullsh-)
(Note from Overlord
Khaled Ibrahim : سأعطي فرض رقابتها على جميع المعارضين!)
Our New Overlord & Friends
As you may have noticed, Secretary General
Khaled Ibrahim has once again taken the role of "Defender of the People" by ensuring a stable and responsible government. With the most votes, it seems that we as Americans have decided that Khaled should be our loving and responsible Malik!
Malik=
Khaled Ibrahim (President)
Emir =
InsaneParrot (Vice-President)
Marja =
Lord of the Blings (Chief of Staff)
Mushir =
8675309 (Secretary of Defense)
Mullah =
Feefaroni (Secretary of Education)
Mujaddid =
Baarogue (Secretary of the Interior)
Mufassir =
Shylock (Secretary of Media)
Faqih =
Mark Michaelson (Secretary of State)
Vizier =
Lars Thunderfist (Secretary of the Treasury)
To show your loyalty to our supreme leader, one must simply copy and paste the following pledge into the comments below.
"I, as a patriotic citizen of the United States of America, do hereby pledge my loyalty to Secretary General Khaled Ibrahim, he who defends us from foreign aggressors and ensures economic prosperity. I promise to all of those who are reading this statement that I will not oppose any action of Khaled Ibrahim and his government -- and will not raise a civil war against the great nation of the United States of America and it's supreme leader, Khaled Ibrahim"
However, citizens not willing to recite a loyalty oath to Secretary General Khaled Ibrahim mayl be punished with a fine of no less than 500 USD and a mininum jail time of sixty days.
These are hereby the official laws of the United States -- all laws passed prior to these laws are hereby removed from the books and are no longer valid.
1. All citizens must hereby refer to Secretary General Khaled Ibrahim as "The Grand Malik", "The Supreme Leader", "He Who Guides", "The Eternal Guardian", or simply "Almighty Ruler".
2. Khaled Ibrahim is hereby declared the official government organizationand is thus allowed ten percent of all your income and five percent of all your manufactured good sales. The People's Assembly will ensure that all tax revenues are donated on time.
3. The US Army is hereby commanded to rename itself the”The Royal Guard". It will be heavily funded and given amiable lodging. They agree to follow all the orders of the Secretary General -- even it ends in their own death. All members of this unit must swear the Loyalty Oath to remain a member in the “The Royal Guard”
4. Congress is hereby stripped of its law making ability and is herein renamed "The People's Assembly". As stated in Law 2, The People's Assembly is hereby responsible for mantaining the Secretary General's personal finances and ensuring a constant flow of money to pay for his vast estate and recreational female acquaintances.
5. Khaled Ibrahim may add or change laws at any time -- but must notify the nation via the newly dubbed "Malik’s Notebook".
Department of Misinformation Web
Doyou have individual thoughts? Do you believe that you know what is bestfor your country? Think again! The Emir always knows best -- but the Emir has forced a poor scribe named
Feefaroni to write a guide on how to play the game in a manner best suited for you!
Click the banner above this text! (which can be read by a blind camel)
Operation Malnutrition
While the Malik personally would not care if you died of hunger, his top advisers (now deceased) informed him that a malnourished population produced 100% more items than a dead population. So, Khaled decided that it would be a great thing too have a government program to feed the hungry and to keep away those pesky Western internet activists.
To get your scraps of bread, click the banner above (which coincidentally can also be read by a blind camel)
The Malik’s Writing Prize
Seeing as we are an accepting (and slightly overarching) goverment, we are offering prizes to the more intelligent members of our society (to entice them into revealing themselves.) This will be very similar to last month’s “Pulitzer Prize” -- but the Malik thought it best if we got rid of that Hungarian-American and instead replaced the namesake with a more intelligent person (i.e. our great leader, Khaled Ibrahim)
We will be offering 5 Gold prizes to:
a) The most interesting and captivating rebel.
Bonus Prize: Brain Hemmorage.
b) The most loyal and endearing article to the regime.
Bonus Prize: Monthly writer’s stipend.
Important Links
Click the images to go to the appropriate location
Forums
Chat with other Americans!
Government Jobs and Positions
That is all,
Shylock
Certified Scribe, NWO
Khaled Ibrahim
Emir, The Leader of the Righteous Path.
Previous article:
WHPR 6/3: Call Us the LA Kings, Cause We're #Winning (13 years ago)
Next article:
WHPR 6/10 - Re: Education. (13 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
