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Oženjen muškarac imao ljubavnicu.
Jednoga dana otišli su u njen stan i vodili ljubav cijelo poslijepodne.
Iscrpljeni, zaspali su i probudili se tek oko 8 navečer.
Muškarac se brzo obukao i zatražio od svoje ljubavnice da iznese njegove
cipele van i zaprlja ih travom i prljavštinom.
Obuo je svoje cipele i pošao kući.
"Gde si bio cijeloga dana?" na vratima ga dočeka žena.
"Ne mogu te lagati" odgovorio je on.
"Imam ljubavnicu i vodili smo ljubav cijelo popodne."
Ona uperi pogled dolje, na njegove cipele i reče:
"Lažove jedan! Opet si igrao golf cijeli dan!"
Druga afera (otac)
Sredovječni par imao je dvije kćeri, ali su uvijek razgovarali kako
bi bilo lijepo imati i sina.
I, odlučili su pokušati još jednom.
Žena je uspjela zatrudnjeti i rodila je zdravo muško dijete.
Presretan otac pohitao je u rodilište da vidi svog novorođenog sina.
Kada je vidio, po njemu, najružnije dijete ikada, prestravio se.
Nema šanse da sam ja otac ovog nesretnog djeteta - rekao je ženi.
Pogledaj ove dvije prelijepe djevojčice kojima sam roditelj!
Ti mora da si švrljala iza mojih leđa!
Žena se osmjehnula i odgovorila:
'Ne - ovoga puta!'
Treća afera (veličina)
Grobar je radio do kasno jedne noći.
Pripremao je tijelo gospodina Drljače, koji je trebao biti kremiran,
i ustanovio frapantnu činjenicu.
Drljača je imao najveći privatan dio tijela koji je ovaj ikada vidio!
'Ispričavam se, gospodine Drljača,' komentirao je grobar, 'Ne mogu dozvoliti
da tako impresivan primjerak bude kremiran, to mora biti
sačuvano za budućnost.'
Potom je odstranio cjenjeni primjerak, spakirao ga je u torbu i ponio kući.
'Imam nešto za pokazati, nećeš vjerovati svojim očima,' rekao je ženi
otvarajući torbu.
'Gospode Bože!' uzvikne žena prestravljeno,
'Drljača je mrtav!'
Četvrta afera (prijatelji)
Žena je bila u krevetu s ljubavnikom, kada je začula muža koji je ulazio u
kuću.
'Požuri,' rekla je, 'stani u kut.'
Nauljila ga je bebi uljem i potom posula talkom.
'Ne miči se dok ti ne kažem,' rekla je. 'Pretvaraj se da si kip.'
'Što je ovo?' upita muž ušavši u prostoriju.
'To je kip,' odgovorila je.
'Petrovićka je kupila jedan, meni se svidjelo pa sam i ja nabavila sličan.'
Bez daljnjeg komentara otišli su u krevet na spavanje.
Oko 2 poslije ponoći, muž je izašao iz sobe i nedugo poslije vratio se s
pivom i sendvičem.
'Evo,' rekao je kipu, 'uzmi ovo.
Ja sam tako dva dana stajao kod Petrovića, mogao sam crknuti od gladi.'
Peta afera (vlasništvo)
Muškarac ulazi u bar i naruči pivu.
'Izvolite gospodine, to će biti 20 lipa.'
'Dvadeset lipa?' ponovio je čovjek, bacio pogled u jelovnik i upitao:
'A koliko bi koštao bečki i butelja prošeka?'
'Kuna i 10,' odgovorio barmen.
'Kuna i 10?' ponovio je čovjek.
'A hoćeš li mi reći gdje je vlasnik ovog restorana?'
Barmen ga hladno pogleda:
'Na katu, s mojom ženom.'
Čovjek ga upita 'A što radi gore s tvojom ženom?
'Isto što i ja ovdje s njegovim restoranom. '
Šesta afera (prevara)
Jura je umirao a njegova žena sjedila je pored njega.
Pogledao on gore, prema njoj i slabim glasom reče:
'Moram ti se za nešto ispovijediti.'
'Nemoj se sada zamarati pričajući, ' odgovorila je ona.
'Ne,' insistirao je,
'Hoću umrijeti u miru.
Spavao sam s tvojom sestrom, tvojom najboljom prijateljicom, njenom
prijateljicom i tvojom majkom!'
'Znam,' odgovorila je,
'Sada se samo opusti i pusti da otrov djeluje.'
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
