At 8:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time on Thursday, May 3, for the first time in American history, the presidential candidates gathered in one place for an intense debate that may shape the course of American history. Presidential candidates Depeche
, Khaled Ibrahim
, and Sermokala
met up on IRC for the first presidential debate, hosted by New America First and the New Lunar Republic. In a debate hosted by President Liquid HOMICIDE
, NAF Leader Feefaroni
, and NLR Leader Asuka Langley Soryu
. The debate proceeded as follows.
Alright, since I've been democratically elected to present first. I'd like to start off with a story. A story about how my life has been turned 180 degrees. It'll take me about 60 seconds to describe. So, sit in your chair -- and enjoy. I grew up on the East Coast -- a rough town -- that is famous for its sandwiches. Anyways, I decided to play basketball. But some roughs beat me up. [Fionia has taken voice from FilthyRich]
The United States has been growing exponentially in the last few months. We’ve overcome great difficulties in regards to Russia and the disintegration of VETO. It’s time for the people to elect a candidate with the executive experience needed to propel our nation into a new era of power and prosperity. And I believe that that candidate is myself
Hi. I’m a QM [quartermaster] for the Army and the sUSA Ambassador to Ireland. I know the issues that face this nation. I’ve struggled with them my whole time that I’ve been here. From trying to raise the money to start a company, to staying excited to hit in battles where tanks make me seem almost insignificant. I have the drive, the ideas, and the ability to run this country.
Alright, apologies for the previous introduction. I’d like to reintroduce myself on a more serious note. While the other candidates preach that they are the “correct” candidate – I believe there is no such thing as a “correct” candidate. All three of us (excluding that fgt ZORRO) in game have contributed a lot to our nation. I established the Department of the Interior two terms ago. Khaled Ibrahim is a wonderful statesman. Sermok is a quartermaster for our nation’s armed forces. One thing we all share is this: commitment. So, my opening statement is this: Vote for anyone – except ZORRO. Thank you, that is all.
FROM FEEFARONI: Sermokala, can you explain your decision to not change the cabinet at all?
I would enjoy that. I don’t believe in a cabinet connected to a candidate. I want an organic cabinet, that naturally grows new talent and rewards old talent, that doesn’t have to be afraid about losing their job because one candidate lost the election or decided not to run again. I don’t believe that all the hard work that these people put in to help run the country should be cast aside for a simple election. I want any and all citizens to be able to realistically become a cabinet secretary, by starting as a deputy and learning what it entails, and them earning the spot through their performance and their ideas. Not through some connection that they have on the campaign trail or being put in a position for some votes. I want the best of the best, and not just a bunch of yes men that well help me get elected another month so they can keep their job.
Why do you claim that all cabinet members are “yes men”? When I served on LH’s cabinet – we all got in fights over some stupid sh*t. However, it worked out quite well, if you haven’t noticed. But you claim that people were picked to “claim the votes” and “act as Yes Men”.
As would happen with the best of friends. But that doesn’t say anything about how well you did your job. I said I don’t want that to be a motivator. Having your best friend as a sot would be good.
FROM DERPYHOOVES: Filthy Rich, your last article announced a cabinet then towards the end indicated that wasn’t your real cabinet, yet you haven’t released anything since on the subject. What the hell?
Of course, this is my favorite part. Well, I decided to wait till the last moment (here and now) to discuss my cabinet. First off, I find the whole VP [Vice-President] position redundant in the sense that my VP will most likely be my CoS [Chief of Staff]. I would like to mention that my CoS will be Wreckbeard. A true friend – and great Secretary of the Interior. My Secretary of Defense will be an honest – and ambitious character: Jenny aka 8675309. He’s led the West Point MU – and deserves a shot at SoD (I held the spot for a week or so myself). For the SecInt – I am going to ask Baroque (inside joke) [Baarogue] into the role. For SecState, I am going to stick Herr Kittbottoms (i.e. MrKittyBottoms). I am going to ensure that our senior cabinet members will stick around to instruct folks on how to operate these offices. Liquid HOMICIDE has long promoted a “new cabinet” – and here I am presenting it. That is all.
Thank you for listing off your cabinet and wasting our time on something that could have been handled with a simple campaign article, of which you’ve posted zero. And even the bare minimum of your presentation is simply a link to a music video. Do you want people to take you seriously as a candidate for the presidency or not?
Well, I am glad you noted the absence of this in an article. I had released this information to a journalist earlier – however – he’ll be releasing it a bit late
. As for your claim of “0 presentation” – I have posted an article. It’s not the most serious article – but it’s an article nonetheless. As for my music link – it’s a song I enjoy – and I believe it tells more about a person than a simple article filled with lies will ever tell. Music is a visible and audible definition of character.
FROM FEEFARONI: Khaled Ibrahim, you’ve been very quiet with your campaign so far. Do you have a cabinet prepared?
Yes I do. My Vice President will be Lord of the Blings (Kazeal). Chief of Staff will be Wreckbeard. Secretary of State will be George Patton. Secretary of Defense will be Pikezh638. Secretary of Media is Mark Michaelson. Secretary of the Treasury is Devoid. Secretary of the Interior is Baarogue.
I love your cabinet, I forgot to mention keeping Devoid. I really enjoy it. That is all.
This is again something that has always been and should be addressed in a simple campaign article. The lack of either of my opponents doing this shows that they either don’t have the interest to run a serious campaign or quite simply don’t care much about it.
Sermokala, I’m sorry that you think that my not posting a cabinet so soon is not showing enough interest. However I take the time to analyze my decisions and come up with the best team possible to run this nation. I would not hurry into something like that, that could have immense ramifications on the future of our nation
FROM DERPYHOOVES: Filthy Rich, after the fiasco with the National Org, why should anyone trust you with anything?
Well, this is a good question. This term, I have installed safeguards – or will be installing safeguards to keep my *ss out of that org – at all costs. a) The Secretary of the Treasury will be approved by Congress, not just myself. b) I will not have the org password past the first 12 hours of my administration. c) If I need funds, I will have to go through Congress to get them. Basically, I won’t have access to the sh*t – but on another note – I made money for the National Org, just sayin’.
The last thing we want is more procedure. B and C are just bad ideas. A 12 hour wait is nothing if you want to steal money or damage the economy. Let it be clear that it wasn’t a mistake that he made doing it. It deliberately changed the peg without warning and cheated some people out of their money so that the national org “could make money”.
Okay so for b, how would we know that you did this? It would be your word and your SoT’s word that we would have to base that on. And frankly after the fiasco most people aren’t willing to trust your word. Second, I agree with Sermok in that I believe that it wasn’t an accident but was a deliberate act, and I don’t think we should reward someone who did this by electing them to the Presidency.
The term fiasco is rather overblowing it. My records indicate a total of 60g was moved around – not spent – not lost – merely moved around for a minor profit. Secondly, Devoid hates my *ss. He wouldn’t lie about locking me out – he’s already done so once before. Lastly, it was a deliberate act. I intended on making money – I didn’t consult the higher powers. No one was “ripped” – they received the current market price for their gold/USD.
(continued in Part 2)
WHPR 4/29: Pulitzer Prize & Other Opportunities
(1 year ago)
WHPR 5/3: May 2012 Presidential Debate, Part 2/2
(1 year ago)