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Po puščavi veslo skače mama kengoru in se vsakih sto metrov ustavi. Iz njene
vreče pokuka mladiček polarnega medveda.
Sredi gozda v Sibiriji med skupino medvedov sedi kengorujček, ki neprestano smrka in kiha ter
zagodrnja: “Nikoli več ne grem na izmenjavo študentov!
Vici Petelin
Zakaj hodi petelin v mesnico?
Zato da lahko vidi nage kokoši.
Vici žena
Zakaj duhovniki nimajo žene?
Ker ne smejo imeti hudiča v hiši!
Vici Letnik
V gostilni se dva pijančka spustita v svoje pomembne pogovore…
Prvi: “Čemu bi se ti lažje odpovedal? Ženski ali vinu. ”
Drugi: “Hm.. tale bo pa težka, najbrž bi bila izbira odvisna od letnika. ”
Vici Gramofon
Policist v civilu v trgovini stopi na oddelek za belo tehniko. Zagleda se v prelep gramofon s kar štiri ploščami. Z velikim zanimanjem se odpravi do prodajalke.
Policist: “Koliko stane tisti gramofon s štirimi ploščami? ”
Prodajalka: “Gospod, tukaj prodajamo le gospodinjske aparate! ”
Policist: “To ni mogoče, pojdite za mano pa vam pokažem kateri gramofon me zanima! ”
Prodajalka: “Gospod, ste mogoče policist? ”
Policist: “Seveda, sem!”
Prodajalka: “Tole ni gramofon, temveč je štedilnik, stane pa 450 evrov!”
Vici Zlomljeno srce
Stara si 11 let pa praviš, da imaš zlomljeno srce … Kaj ti je plišasti medvedek spal z drugo ?
Vici Spoved
Gospod v poznih 80 se odpravi na spoved.
Gospod: “Oče, med 2. svetovno vojno je na domača vrata potrkala lepotica in me prosila, naj jo skrijem pred nemci. Seveda je nisem mogel zavrniti, zato sem jo skril na podstrešje.”
Duhovnik odgovori: “To pa res ni nič slabega, imaš za povedati še kaj kar ti leži na duši?”
Gospod: ” Nisem še dokončal, huje je kot to,” tarna spovedanec, “hvaležna za zatočišče mi je začela vračati s seksom.”
Duhovnik: “Človeka v stiski naredita marsikaj. Če vam je resnično žal, potem vam je vsekakor odpuščeno.”
Gospod: “Hvala oče,” olajšano zavzdihne, “imam pa še eno vprašanje.”
“Kaj pa je?” vpraša duhovnik.
Gospod: “Ali naj ji povem, da je konec vojne?”
Vici Pomen besed
Deček prosi svojega očeta, naj mu pojasni razlike med tem, kako človeka znerviraš, razjeziš in kako ‘sfrustriraš’.
Oče mu raje demonstrira, dvigne telefon in pokliče naključno številko. Ko se na drugi strani nekdo oglasi, ga vpraša: "Lahko govorim s Tomažem, prosim?"
"Ne, tukaj ni nobenega Tomaža," reče oseba na drugi strani.
Oče odloži slušalko in reče: ‘Tako ga znerviraš.’
Ponovno vzame slušalko v roke, zavrti isto številko in ponovno vpraša po Tomažu.
"Ne, tukaj ni nobenega Tomaža! Nehajte klicariti. Če pokličete še enkrat, vas bom prijavil policiji,’ reče oseba na drugi strani.
Oče odloži slušalko in reče: "Tako ga razjeziš"
"Kaj je potem ‘sfustriraš’?" vpraša sin.
Oče dvigne slušalko in pokliče isto številko že tretjič: "Živjo, tukaj Tomaž. Ste me vi klicali?" vpraša suvereno.
Vici Čudaške ženske
Na vaški veselici potekaj moški pogovori.
Prvi: "Sploh ne morem razumeti žensk! "
Drugi: "Res, da so malo čudne, tako hudo pa spet ni.. Kaj te muči? "
Prvi: "Ne gre mi v glavo, kako vedno pravijo, da smo vsi moški isti, ko pa iščejo moža pa vedno tako zbirajo.. "
Vici Golaž
Kako gorenjec naredi golaž?
V rjavo posodo vlije vodo in vrže koščke mesa od prejšnjega meseca.
Vici Čefur
Majhen dihurček vpraša lisico: “Sem zelo kosmat, imam dve beli črti in imam neprijetenj vonj. Kdo sem?”
Lisica: “o tem ni dvoma, vsekakor si ČEFUR!”
Vici Nasvet
V primeru, da je vaša žena ljubiteljica, dragih eksotičnih krajev, vam priporočam, da jo peljeta na bencinsko postajo.
Vici Radenska
Kako Chuck Norris spije kozarec s špricarjem in radensko?
Tako, da ostane samo radneska!
Vici Črnogorsko letalo
Zakaj je strmoglavilo črnogorsko letalo? Ker se kurjaču ni več dalo delat.
Vici Parkiranje
Zakonca sta se spravila v mesene užitke: ‘Dej ženka, malo naprej… tako ja, no sedaj pa malo nazaj… še malo levo… dobro ti gre! Porini ga še malo, no.’
‘Pa dobro mož, ali parkiramo ali seksamo?
Vici Optimizem
Kako si 100%, da vidiš optimista?
Ko gledaš brezdomca ki bere revijo Moj Dom.
Vici Baterija na telefonu
Dobrodošli v 21. stoletju, kjer baterija na telefonu zdrži dlje kot zveze!
Upam, da so ti bili vici všeč.
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Profi Si Acedemy (MU) (14 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
