Article
-Da, recite!!
-2 ribe se tuku za mene..
-Pa šta je tu loše?
-Ova ružna pobjeđjuje!!!
2)Kuca plavusa po banderi,kad naidje policajac i pita je:
-Sto kucas tu?
plavusa ce:
- pa pise da izdaje stan,a ne otvara niko!
policajac ce:
- pa cudi me bas,a i svetlo im gori..
3)Upala dva policajca u šahtu i kaze jedan:
- ako do mraka ne izađemo odo ja kući.
4)Otišao policajac u neki grad,dodje u hotel i pita da li imaju jednokrevetnu sobu.
Recepcionar odgovori da ima samo jedna dvokrevetna i u njoj jedan šumar.Policajac pristane na tu sobu,ali da ga probude u 5 sati ujutro. I tako recepcionar njega probudi,a policajac u mraku obuće šumarevo odelo. Izašao na ulicu i vidi da nešto nije uredu.... Udari se po glavi i kaže:
-"A budale recepcionara,probudio šumara umjesto mene!"
5)Vraca se jedan policajac sa ispita, i pita ga drugi policajac:
-I kako je bilo?
-Pretesko!!!
-Pa, kakva su bila pitanja?
Pocne mu objasnjavati:
-1. Od cega je napravljen zlatni novcic?
2. Koji instrument svira Nero harmonikas?
6)Doneli pandurima novu opremu i objašnjavaju im kako se upotrebljava i došli do sata:
"-S’ ovim satom možete da se kupate."
A jedan pandur će:
-"A gde se pušta topla voda?"
7)Okupila se citava policijska stanica da vide koliko su inteligentni...dodje neka zena da ih ispita...
Z: Sta to malo,crveno raste na drvetu?
PP: Ma dajte to je tesko ...ne znamo..
Z: Vi ste stvarno glupi, pa tresnja..aj nesto lakse...sta to dvoje crveno malo raste na drvetu?
PP: Dvoje?..ma dajte to je stvarno tesko..
Z: Vi ste stvarno glupi, pa dve tresnje..idem ja...
PP: Ne ne..ako sad ne budemo znali pitanje onda smo stvarno glupi...
Z : Dobro...sta vuce konjska kola?
Svi se okrecu...cudno...kad jedan policajac stidljivo dize ruku iz zadnjeg reda...
P: Da nije tri tresnje?...
8)Ulazi pandur u stanicu i pita kolegu:
"Jesi cuo da je izasao palysation 3"?
Koega odgovori:
" Ma nisam ti ja gledao ni prvi ni drugi deo".
9)Zaustavi pandur narkomana zbog prebrze vožnje i kaže mu:
- izađi da duvaš..
a narkoman će na to iznenađen:
- ne seri da imaš?!
10)Razljućeni šef policije reče svom podređenom:
• Ako misliš da si pametniji od mene, onda si stvarno pravi glupan...
11)Dolazi pandur u poslastičarnicu i pita:
• Kakve kolače imate?
Prodavac kaže:
• Imamo svih oblika i veličina.
Pandur reče:
• Dajte mi dva oblika i tri veličine.
12)pita pandur sefa:
- gde nestane svetlo kad se ugasi?
ovaj mu kaze da ce da razmisli pa da mu kaze sutra.
dolazi sef sutra i saziva hitan sastanak,i kaze kolegi
da postavi pitanje koje je njega pitao.
i naravno odgovor niko nezna.
sef sav ponosan gasi svetlo,otvara frizider,i kaze:
- EVO GA
13)Sede slon i miš u bioskopu. Slon je sedeo u prvom redu a miš u drugom, iza slona. I naravno, miš ništa nije video od. Ode miš 2 reda ispred slona i nervozno se prodere:
-JEL SAD VIDIŠ KAKO JE TO?!?!?!?
14)Napravio medo WC u kojem moze da se pusta muzika...
U WC udje lisica i pita ga meda koju hoce muziku.
Lija kaze ocu pop...
Meda pusti pop
Zatim ulazi zeka i kaze ocu rep.
meda pusti rep
Zatim ulazi vuk i minut kasnije vuk izlazi sa spustenim pantalonama sav usran!
Kada su ga pitali šta mu se desilo, ovaj kaze:
Pita me meda sta oces ja kazem daj bilo sta zurim.
A on mi u sred nuzde pusti himnu!
15)Sede dve sove na grani, kad ce jedna:
-Huuuuu!
A druga ce na to:
-Idi u pizdu meterinu al me uplasi!
16)Čak Norisov kalendar nema 1. april.
17)Čak Noris ima miš sa dva leva klika.
18)Čak Noris bi se u emisiji "48 sati svadba" oženio za sat vremena.
19)Cak Noris je tako kuul da ovce broje njega kad idu na spavanje
20)Chuck moze da aplaudira Jednom rukom...
21)chuck norris je zaradio milijardu na milioneru
22)Chuck Norris je uspeo da pokvari kliker.
23)Cak Noris je pojeo Hanibala Lektora.
24)Chuck Norris ume da veze pertle na svojoj cipeli... nogom.
25)Film "Anakonda" je snimljen u pantalonama Chucka Norrisa.
26)Neki ljudi su primili krv od Chucka Norrisa preko transfuzije na Crvenom Krstu. Ti ljudi su sada poznati kao X-men.
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
