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1、老婆:“听说老婆漂亮的生儿子帅,老公帅的生女儿漂亮。老公,我们。。。”
老公:“我们领养个吧。。。”
2、本人待产孕妇,一日去逛街。刚走到小区门口,老公打我电话,我说出去玩去,就听电话那边一顿咆哮:这么热的天不在家睡觉出去玩啥,孩子生出来黑的话都是你晒的。。。
3、老婆掌管财政大权,每次零花钱给的都不多,所以今天准备跟老婆谈谈。
“老婆,你以后每天多给我点零花钱吧,我想日行一善”
“嗯?邢怡珊是谁?这种事你TM还敢跟我要钱!”
4、小吴裹着一脑袋纱布来到单位 ,大家好奇问他是怎么搞的,小刘说:“昨晚上,他叼个烟卷在那鼓捣烟花,一不小心烟花在屋子里就炸开了!”
“把你炸成这样啦?”大家问。
“不是。”小吴郁闷的答道,“老婆打的。”
5、昨天和表哥几个人吃饭,表嫂是医生,说表哥血压血糖高,不让他喝酒。
表哥急了说:喝死了拉倒!
表嫂幽幽的来一句:要……点死,趁着我现在还年轻。。。
6、今天一朋友买硬盘,说要个2t的,我说你不是有个500g的吗,还不够用,朋友很平静的告诉我,股市挣了点钱,给女朋友们换个豪宅。我瞬间觉得朋友好高大!
7、有个朋友,前段时间做了包皮手术,有半个月了吧!昨晚有个老板请他去推油(懂的人都明白)他安全起见就问另一个做过这手术的朋友可以用了吗?朋友说可以了,结果,,,,在他快发射的时候,崩了,那女的惊恐的眼神加一手血啊!整个休闲中心都知道了。以后都没脸去那家了吧!当我跟另一个朋友听到时笑了个半死啊,过去看他躺在沙发上,那样子哎哟,不说了想想都痛!
8、跟一朋友喝茶聊天,我说:你一把年纪了,别总是忙工作,得把工作放一放,找个老婆要紧。他说:这年头,能找个老婆就不错了,还说啥紧不紧的。。。我又邪恶了吗?
9、今天一朋友回来高兴的和我说,今天在公交车上好多人啊!我一直被俩妹子用身体摩擦。我都起来了。(害羞状)。。然后我问他,我打电话你怎么不接啊,他一摸口袋。好吧去买手机了
10、有一次没烟抽了 ,就骑着刚买的山地车去买烟 。骑着骑着,突然脑袋里闪过一个念头 :刹前刹车真的会飞出去吗?对!你们猜到了 ,我在地上躺了10分钟才爬起来。真的是不作死就不会死

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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