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1、儿子和爸爸正在看电视,忽然男主角跪下向女主角求婚。
  儿子很好奇的问爸爸:“爸爸,你向妈妈求婚的时候有没有跪下?”
  爸爸:“没有。”
  儿子:“为什么?”
  爸爸:“你妈说以后跪的机会多着呢,这次就免了。”
2、三农民在田间聊天。甲:我要当了大官就顿顿吃白馍。乙:那我每天吃大碗的牛肉面。丙:我要当了官,村里的粪谁都不许拣,全是我一人的!
3、李刚不管红绿灯,一律不停!不过遇到红灯区,就停下来了……
4、奥运会开幕那天,志愿者纷纷到机场迎接外宾,却发现所有老外不论男女都挤在男厕所里,正当大家感到疑惑时,就听机场广播响起:下机的旅客同志请到机场南侧等候……
5、请教:上海的内环,中环,外环如何划分?
  回答:房价3万以上的叫内环,2万以上的叫中环,1万以上的叫外环,5千的请仔细查询售楼处电话是不是0512开头的!
6、今天坐车,旁边俩女的聊天,A女冲着B 女喊了一声,操你大爷!然后,B女转过头来看着我,很认真的叫了一声大爷,A女瞬间脸红,哎妈,幸福来得太突然了。。。
7、刚刚男同事从厕所出来,洗手时遇见女同事就问:“你也尿手上了?”女同事把手放在男同事鼻子边上说:“闻一下有没有尿味?”刚说完就把手指放男同事嘴里了。走之前说:“不是尿手上了,是拉完屎擦屁股时抠破卫生纸了”。男同事瞬间傻在哪里,之后就传出一阵呕吐的声音。
8、在农贸市场买菜。看到一个男子大声呵责一个卖黄瓜的男子,差点就动手了。卖黄瓜的低着头讪讪地笑,不敢申辩。
原来,就刚才,一个女子去买黄瓜,卖黄瓜的见女的长的漂亮,貌似一个人,嘴贱就说了句:买什么样的,吃的还是用的?
没想到,女子的老公就只站在她身后不远处,听了个真切。
9、姑姑家住楼房,奶奶偶尔去小住,昨天姑姑一回家就问到一股呛鼻的味道,一看是奶奶热饭后没关煤气灶,幸亏她老人家吃过饭就下楼遛弯了,等奶奶回来,姑姑问她热完饭咋不关煤气灶,奶奶一脸严肃的说:“关了啊,我费了好大劲才吹灭呢..."。。。
10、看到很多人吐槽,说我没车没房没存款没长相个子矮房事不行一脸横肉还没品位,但是我有一颗爱你的心,你为什么不要我,,,,我想问,如果一妹子,没身高没身材,胸小腰粗,满脸麻子,一笑就两颗漆黑的大板牙,体重两百斤,还没学历没家世没工作,但是她有一颗爱你的心,你会娶她么?会的举手,,,,


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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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